In life, I've always said there are two ways to learn. You learn from a person or an experience that was pleasurable and you do what you can to recreate that positive experience to improve yourself, your business, your approach, etc...and then there are those individuals and experiences that leave you with such an awful taste in your mouth that you do everything in your power to ensure you are the polar opposite of that person and you do what you can to ensure that experience never happens again. There are plenty of people doing things right, but today I would like to look at a valuable lesson learned from a puker. Yes, I said puker...as in someone who vomits. In this case, someone who vomits or pukes all over their customer or potential customer. If you've never met a puker, you'll need a few key ways to identify them (see below):
*****you are spending time with a puker if you can't wait for your phone to ring because you are looking for a graceful way to exit
*****you know absolutely everything about them, their business, and/or their product and they have likely forgotten your name and they haven't asked a single thing about you
*****they have trouble making eye contact and you aren't sure if they are having a conversation with you or the imaginary person on the wall behind you (even worse if there is a mirror behind you)
*****they use more words than the average person but they don't seem to say anything - the more you listen, the less you know
I'm not sure there's any hope for a puker. They are completely self-absorbed and wouldn't recognize feedback if you threw it at them at 90mph...so the best thing to do is avoid the puker. If you find yourself involved with one, make some mental notes about what NOT to do in your own life and business. If you think you're becoming a puker, take a quick inventory of what you know about the person or people you are talking to. Remember that people like talking about themselves. If you want to be engaged and engaging, a conversation needs to play out like a tennis match with questions and answers and a back and forth movement/flow. Ask for feedback from time to time as well. I have a dear friend who worries that she has a tendency to be self absorbed (I don't see it, but she fears it) and she will ask me if she's showing signs of puker-ness ... asking a trusted friend for this feedback can only help you grow.
Next time you see me, we can enjoy a glass of wine and I'll tell you what prompted this post - in the meantime, enjoy and I hope it brings you value!